Talking to God...

Last night as I was looking at the front room, and thinking about how easier it would be if Salvation Army would just come and take it the furniture all in one trip. I heard the words, "But that wasn't my will." I realized that once again I was trying to take control of how I want things done. I don't know why, what I wanted was wrong all I know is that it was. Right know I have had a lot of doubt of how everything is working out and if it can. Mainly because I'm talking to a friend in Iowa...and we are really get a lot out of our conversations but all I see is the distances between us. Before I've always had the ability to talk to those I want to whenever I wasn't working or in school. Now with me not working or in school I have nothing to really focus my attention on, when he's busy or we're not talking and it makes me doubt. And I don't like this...so while talking to God last night I realized that I was letting fear, worry, and doubt destroy this friendship. I have to learn to trust that God has a plan for me, even if I can't see it right now.  I realized that I feel like I'm looking at a brick wall, again, and I can't figure out how to get over it, under it, around it, or even tear it down brick by brick if necessary. Again I heard these words, "Do you have enough faith, even that of a mustard seed?" I was reminded that this Sunday or Monday, I asked if Heavenly Father would tone down my headaches to the pain where I don't need pain killers. See I would really like them gone, but at this moment I'm not sure my faith is strong enough to believe in that, but for what I asked for it worked. My headaches have been so much nicer to me this week. I was then reminded of my blessing I got for my graduation, since I had been coughing so bad for at least a week up to it, and for the three days before graduation coughing so much that I was making myself sick at least once a day. I knew I couldn't sit through graduation without water, coughing, or possibly getting sick. So I asked for a blessing so I could go at least those three hours without coughing,. And it worked, and I again used that in June when I went to the Chicago Temple, and right as the endowment session was about to start, I started coughing, again I couldn't get water so I asked for the same blessing to be used so I could go through the endowment session without coughing any further.  And it work. I was then remind of going through the repentance process and the Atonement, and how my sins were forgiven. And how I was told that it worked. I then know that all of those things took faith, even a tiny as a mustard seed to work, but Heavenly Father helped them to work. I know that he can remove this brick wall that I can't seem to move, He can help me do the impossible. He know what I want, and He will help me achieve what is right and best for me, because that is his will. Celeste wrote yesterday, "That if it is important to you, then it is important to Him." When I read those words...it made everything that Heavenly Father and I talked about last night mean more...He know what I value, and what I want, He will help me do it in away that is pleasing to Him.