Memories transferred through tears...

Hopefully I can get my thoughts across more clearly here. lol. There is a scene in Harry Potter part 2, where tears are collected and they hold the memories of the person who cried them. That made sense to me, and hit me hard. I was taught a long time ago that my tears where weapons to be used against me, and so I stopped crying so anyone could see. A few years later I was having a conversation with a friend from Purdue, and he joked that if he died I would cry for him. I replied that I won't cry, but I realized at that time that I was crying on the inside where no one could see my tears. I never doubted that the weren't there or that I was actually hiding my pain, but if they aren't see they can't be used against me. When I was at Disney my sister had me listen to a talk by John Bytheway that talked about break ups...all I got from that talk was that every tear a girl cries because she was hurt by a guy those are going to be counted against him. That not the message my sister wanted me to get from that message. But it did get me to stop crying again. Last fall I was being yelled at realized that he was trying to get me to cry so he could use them against me, he was trying to make them a weapon.  I know that even if I cry or not they still are counted. The only tears I don't feel were weapons came after a dream, which was the first time I allowed myself to cry. Yes, my tears or lack there of hold my memories.