Why I Believe Wednesday Bless the Broken Road.

A couple of my friends to "Why I Believe Wednesday's," and they post them elsewhere, I could post mine there also but very few people could read it there so I'm placing it on FB. Back in July, I heard the song "Bless the Broken Road," and I know I've talked a little about it but this time I won't hold anything back, no more lies, lines and half truths...well almost. My broken road started two years ago and took me through HELL to then take me to Rockford, IL. I've always knew when your mentally not ready to be in a relationship you shouldn't be in one. This didn't stop me from going into my second relationship in two years. It's fun to be in a relationship and realize that he's trying to control you, or yelling at you with the sole intent just to make you cry just to prove that he has that kind of power over you. Or to realize the real reason behind him calling off the wedding is because he really thought I would just let him control me completely and then realize that I would never make it as easy as he would like it be. When I was in the relationship I could see and get only part of the abuse but until the day I drove away for the last time did I fully get it. I was almost outside the town limits when it felt like this veil had be lifted from my mind, and for the first time MY THOUGHTS were back, I could once again think for MYSELF, the promises that I had made years ago came back. The lessons I was taught by my protectors can back in full force. The only way I can truly describe what happened is using this scripture Ether 4:15 from the Book of Mormon : "Behold, when ye shall rend that veil of unbelief which doth cause you to remain in your awful state of wickedness, and hardness of heart, and blindness of mind, then shall the great and marvelous things which have been hid up from the foundation of the world from you—yea, when ye shall call upon the Father in my name, with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, then shall ye know that the Father hath remembered the covenant which he made unto your fathers, O house of Israel." It was like the veil was rend and only once it was lifted could I see that Heavenly Father was there the whole time trying to get me to listen to Him and help me out of my HELL. There really isn't a day that goes by that I'm not thankful that He really did finally find a way to get me out even if it meant convince the guy I would never give my control to him completely.

A few months later I was at a church dance where I had walked out of the church building to avoid a song, I ended up spending the rest of the time talking to a guy. At the end of the dance the guy wanted my number and even though I enjoyed talking to him I could tell that he really want more than I could give him. I also felt that I was lying to the guy part of the time which didn't give me confidence about giving my number to him...I wasn't sure he would be able to understand my Hell and the choices I had made. So I didn't give it to him and over the next few months realized how much I really needed a friend to talk to and almost wished I had taken the guy up on the offer. So I ended up being HIGHLY ENCOURAGED, to attend a Young Sexy Adult conference in Rockford, IL...where I heard "Bless the Broken Road," which really helped me to see that there really is a reason for the path I've taken. Not long after that song and pray that I had prayed, I was asked to dance with I guy that I had met there and he asked for my number. This time I realized how much I needed someone to talk too, already felt guilty over saying no the time before, so I gave me number. With having someone to talk to, the changes I've been making already in my life, knitting, and teaching Sunday school. I've gotten of the Broken Road and started on the Healing Road. I know that Heavenly Father has been guiding my steps because I can see how I needed to go through part of the past two years to get to where I am now. There where just times I stopped listen, but that didn't mean He left me, he was waiting for me to return back to him. He is always waiting with open arms no matter how long it takes us to get back to him, but two years were enough time for me...this time. That is Why I Believe.