Jonah and I

Last night I realized how much I was like Jonah from the Old Testament, he had been called by God do a special work that only he could do. Instead of going to Nineveh and preaching repentance he gets on a boat and heads completely in the opposite direction. Once the boat leaves port, God causes a tempest to come upon the sea, the sailors do everything to save the boat, the throw their cargo over board, the captain tells everyone to pray to their gods, and then the captain goes to find Jonah, (here is an interesting part of the story,) the captain finds him sleeping despite the tempest (which Christ does also, later.) So Jonah realizes that God is causing this tempest because of him, to bring Jonah to REPENTANCE, so Jonah tells them to toss him over board, they try to get him to shore or at least closer to shore...but they can't so the finally throw Jonah over board. As soon as Jonah is in the sea two things happens a) the water calms, and b) a whale comes and swallows him. He spends three days repenting and praying to God forgiveness. Then goes about doing the Lord's work, granted maybe not as happily as he should have been, he still was wanting God to destroy the people of Nineveh, instead of rejoicing over the fact that the people have repented and a city saved.
So what does this have to do with me??? I feel that instead of doing what God's will, I've been running in the opposite directions as far away as I can get. I have been in a tempest of the sea for way to long. So it's now the time to be thrown over broad and enjoy the calming of the sea, and spend days praying, repenting, and trying to figure out what God will is for me instead of going about doing my will or at least wanting do my will. I also just realized that for my repentance to be a true repentance I most also rejoice over other people's repentance, I can't stand by waiting for their "city," to be destroyed. I have to allow them the same joy of being truly forgiven and know that God is a true and just God, who atoned for everyone sins all everyone have to do is accepted it. And I can't wish and want them to pay the price of their sins and the pain they have caused me, Christ paid that price already. And me holding onto it only continues to make Christ's pain longer, stronger, and harder.