Oil Pulling day 5

First off, if someone accidentally stumbles across my blog I want to clarify that I'm not tree hugger. I'm not one of those people who go crazy of whole food, going green or any similar thing. I find some of it interesting and probably really good for us, but I usually get lost in all of their reasons for why it's better for us and the planet. Now having said that I do periodically visit such sites because blogs that I follow lead me there. So oil pulling, was something that my sister stumbled across in her reading. She read the process and was kind of interested, and grossed out at the same time. But we had in our house a jar of coconut oil to make homemade lotion as a Christmas gift. As we made up the lotion, we realized that we would try it out first before giving it away. We also had a lot leftover in our mixing bowl, after mixing it up I stumbled on a site talking about oil pulling with coconut oil and why coconut oil is good for you. Well that night we had a little left on the whip we had started with, so I took my finger and wiped some of and started oil pulling.  Yes, it's a little different, okay a lot different but I figured why not try it. If the only benefit I get from it is a brighter smile and healthier teeth, then it's a start.
So that was five days ago, what has changed my teeth feel clean, I've had phlegm in the back of my throat for the last four years, that seems to be leaving my body, finally!!! My throat has also felt tighter as if the muscles were to tight around it, but may it was that the phlegm was blocking flow of food and water into my body, I really don't know but what I do know is that when I swallow my throat isn't tight anymore. So I hope to keep noticing the changes of what is going on in my body since I started oil pulling. This is website I found on oil pulling.
 http://www.coconutresearchcenter.org/article%20oil%20pulling.htm
I've download the book Oil Pulling Therapy by Bruce Fife. I find it to be an educational read for the science behind why oil pulling works.

Random Act Day 1 and 2

So last year a women I know did a 30 days of Random Acts of Kindness, for her 30 birthday. Since our birthdays over lapped, and she didn't talk about it until after her birthday missed my chance to do it then. So this year I plan on doing 31 days. So yesterday is my temple day, here are a few of the things I did. I let Clarissa, temple friend use my phone so we could arrange for her to be picked up by the driver for her apartment complex. I also directed two British people to the Conference Center for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Today, I helped my roommate Tiffany, pick up her car that she dropped off earlier to have body work done on it. Thankful, there were no cops there today.

Utah

I've been in Utah for over a year, and I've spent that time taking care of my big sister. I've been going to the temple weekly and met a new friend, who I'm now helping with her genealogy. I'm, of course, driving a few guy's crazy, while being driven crazy by them...but that's all good. I'm trying not to stress out my sister, or let our other roommate drive me crazy, which doesn't alway work well. But the best part is we're moving out of our current place into another apartment with just my sister and I. Which will in part take some of the drama out of our lives. What I really want to say, but not feel like I can put else where is this...So this summer my sister was promised a chance to talk to her old regional boss, about possible career changes, with her old boss relocated to the East Coast, she was hoping that meant she would be going back East, also. Which is really what she wants, she want's to be closer to family, but I feel that Utah is were I'm suppose to be for a little longer and I couldn't stay here on my own. I knew not matter what happened I would go with her, because she is tired of being alone. I remember some of the promises she was given if she stayed in Utah years ago, and I didn't want her moving away from those. Granted I also understand that she's given up on them and just wants to be closer to home. But I know my home is Utah, for the time being, so I've been trying looking for an apartment for us to move into since our lease was coming up, and not really sure where to look, or even if we would be staying. I've been trying to find a job, but also not wanting to start one, only to leave shortly after getting hired. I also have been dealing with a roommate, who as decided that I'm a great target for all of her unhappiness. And of course, trying hard not to get mad back, which didn't always work.

So after months of stress, my sister finally found out that the job she REALLY wants might be headed to Utah, anyway, and she could be in line for it, since she's already here. Which means I get to stay here also, which makes me happy, but also sad for her because I know she's ready to head back East. So I've been praying that we both can figure out why we're still in Utah, what is it that we need to do so can say that we've "Successfully, completed our mission while in Utah."

My last name

I've come to the conclusion that maybe one of Satan's ways of not making family history easy is by convincing us to be casual in our introductions of ourselves. Instead of stating our full names, we may simply state our first name. We then don't get the last name of the person we're talking too, which reduces the chance of finding those people around us who might have similar name to those of our ancestors. Which means we don't find new lines that can connect our family tree to other family trees. So our tree doesn't grow it just stay an singular and stands all alone in the forest, instead of on the hillside surrounded by other trees. The point of family history is to connect families with each other until the whole earth is linked in one huge family tree, and Satan doesn't want that to happen. He doesn't want us to be families, especially eternal families. I love looking around me for those who might be related to me, granted right now I don't expect to find anyone, but if I don't us my full name I won't. I do believe that we all are related, so we have to be will to look for those among our friends and co-worker who have the same last name as our family. It also mean that you have to spend time studying your family tree, you should know the last names of the main lines, but also where they came from. That will be extremely helpful in knowing if the families were settled in the same states. Don't be afraid to approach people you don't know but think you might be related too, you might miss the chance and never be able to take it again. Both of my parents have asked strangers about their family history, since their names matched ours family names, and neither one of them is that interested in family history. They did it because they weren't sure they would ever have the chance to again, now nothing came of it but they still asked.

D&D dreams

Just when I think...maybe something has changed so that I no longer dreaming my d&d dreams, another one happens. Most of the time I'm okay with them...well as okay as you can be when you are constantly dreaming of death and destruction, but every now and again one just hurts, or REALLY scares me. Last nights just hurts...the main character other than me, was this adorable little boy, my biological son. Having children in my d&d dreams is normal, but most times I know their not mine or are cousins, nieces or nephews. Seldon do I ever really know that it was MINE, their just children that I there to help, protect or to keep safe, but he was mine. I was trying so hard to get him to safety, somewhere away from me, to protect him...that is what I do...always. But he would go, he was young, very young, but he knew that if he caused a scene I would take him back from the person I was trying to give him to so he would be safe.  I woke up just hurting because even though I didn't know why it was better for him without me I know I was trying to do the right thing for him. Then after getting up and pray about it...I realized that others are alway getting hurt in my dream how can I expect to always come out of them without endangering myself, and my children. Even if I try to protect them, there is no promise that they will be safer without me, or if I keep them with me that they'll actually be safe. I'm not in control, only running from those that would harm me. But even then God is the one would can protect me, my family, and all the other children who are always in the dreams with me. He is the only who can keep us safe in D&D.
Today at church some read Doctrine and Covenants 122:6-7: If thou art accused with all manner of false accusations; if thine enemies fall upon thee; if they tear thee from the society of thy father and mother and brethren and sisters; and if with a drawn sword thine enemies tear thee from thy bosom wife and of thine offspring and thine elder son, although but six years of age, shall cling to thine garments, and shall say, My father, my father what can't you stay with us? and if then he shall be thrust from thee, by the sword, and thou be dragged to prison, and thine enemies shall prowl around thee like wolves for the blood of the lamb; And if thou shouldst be cast into a pit, or in the hands of murderers, and a sentenced of death by passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if the fierce winds become thy enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all the very jaws of hell gape open wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things will give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.
With my dreams I can believe all of the first part...but I MUST remember the last part: Know thou, my daughter, that all these things will give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. I needed to hear that today, especially after that dream.

Running away, again???

Why do I feel that it's what I'm really doing instead of helping out my sister? It's not like I have any reason to believe what I want would actually happen. In fact, it probably wouldn't but in my head I've built it up into something when in fact it's nothing. Yet, instead of facing what I want I'm taking the chance to leave, because I have no reason to refuse. It's not like I have a job to stay for and don't have the confidence to actually look for one, I don't have a place to stay where I would look for a job. So I'll move to a place where there is a possibility for jobs, and a place to stay. A place a few weeks ago, I felt so right. So am I running away...or running toward something. That is really what I want, it's what I wanted when I was there to not have to come home. But to find a job, go to school...and to have a reason to stay, just ONE reason to belong SOMEWHERE, instead of just existing or going through the motions of something like life. I've been looking for a way and reason to return. Praying for a way to help my sister, not sure how, but hoping I can. Now I just have to make it happen ALL of it job, schools, helping her, going to the temple, doing genealogy work and maybe even being a temple worker...just because I'm closer and don't have to make such a long drive to do it. Maybe this will help me, and finish healing me so next time I'll actually face the music instead of running away or actually live in reality instead of inside my head.

Where I've been hiding...

I know it's been awhile since I posted anything new, so almost a month ago I was house sitting for people from church while they were away for a week. Since they have two dogs, and a cat, they didn't want me hanging out in their house ALL day long. I realized that they were only a couple of miles away from the local museum which has a LOT of genealogy records...so I went there instead. What I found where 4 to 5 books that related to my family, so I've spent the last few weeks on random days and times updating my PAF files. I hope when I finish, I'll finally feel like I have accomplished all that I need to do from the farm for my families' genealogy so I can finally move on. Granted I have already learned that 3 and probably 4 of the books are already on familysearch, but I'm not sure if they will have the living people there, so I just look for those. Most of the information I already had it is mainly just filling death dates, and children. So I hope to be done a lot faster, than I really probably will be, because now I have to convince myself to go and spend the time there from the farm. But I've had a lot of fun doing it.