Oil Pulling day 5

First off, if someone accidentally stumbles across my blog I want to clarify that I'm not tree hugger. I'm not one of those people who go crazy of whole food, going green or any similar thing. I find some of it interesting and probably really good for us, but I usually get lost in all of their reasons for why it's better for us and the planet. Now having said that I do periodically visit such sites because blogs that I follow lead me there. So oil pulling, was something that my sister stumbled across in her reading. She read the process and was kind of interested, and grossed out at the same time. But we had in our house a jar of coconut oil to make homemade lotion as a Christmas gift. As we made up the lotion, we realized that we would try it out first before giving it away. We also had a lot leftover in our mixing bowl, after mixing it up I stumbled on a site talking about oil pulling with coconut oil and why coconut oil is good for you. Well that night we had a little left on the whip we had started with, so I took my finger and wiped some of and started oil pulling.  Yes, it's a little different, okay a lot different but I figured why not try it. If the only benefit I get from it is a brighter smile and healthier teeth, then it's a start.
So that was five days ago, what has changed my teeth feel clean, I've had phlegm in the back of my throat for the last four years, that seems to be leaving my body, finally!!! My throat has also felt tighter as if the muscles were to tight around it, but may it was that the phlegm was blocking flow of food and water into my body, I really don't know but what I do know is that when I swallow my throat isn't tight anymore. So I hope to keep noticing the changes of what is going on in my body since I started oil pulling. This is website I found on oil pulling.
 http://www.coconutresearchcenter.org/article%20oil%20pulling.htm
I've download the book Oil Pulling Therapy by Bruce Fife. I find it to be an educational read for the science behind why oil pulling works.

Random Act Day 1 and 2

So last year a women I know did a 30 days of Random Acts of Kindness, for her 30 birthday. Since our birthdays over lapped, and she didn't talk about it until after her birthday missed my chance to do it then. So this year I plan on doing 31 days. So yesterday is my temple day, here are a few of the things I did. I let Clarissa, temple friend use my phone so we could arrange for her to be picked up by the driver for her apartment complex. I also directed two British people to the Conference Center for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Today, I helped my roommate Tiffany, pick up her car that she dropped off earlier to have body work done on it. Thankful, there were no cops there today.

Utah

I've been in Utah for over a year, and I've spent that time taking care of my big sister. I've been going to the temple weekly and met a new friend, who I'm now helping with her genealogy. I'm, of course, driving a few guy's crazy, while being driven crazy by them...but that's all good. I'm trying not to stress out my sister, or let our other roommate drive me crazy, which doesn't alway work well. But the best part is we're moving out of our current place into another apartment with just my sister and I. Which will in part take some of the drama out of our lives. What I really want to say, but not feel like I can put else where is this...So this summer my sister was promised a chance to talk to her old regional boss, about possible career changes, with her old boss relocated to the East Coast, she was hoping that meant she would be going back East, also. Which is really what she wants, she want's to be closer to family, but I feel that Utah is were I'm suppose to be for a little longer and I couldn't stay here on my own. I knew not matter what happened I would go with her, because she is tired of being alone. I remember some of the promises she was given if she stayed in Utah years ago, and I didn't want her moving away from those. Granted I also understand that she's given up on them and just wants to be closer to home. But I know my home is Utah, for the time being, so I've been trying looking for an apartment for us to move into since our lease was coming up, and not really sure where to look, or even if we would be staying. I've been trying to find a job, but also not wanting to start one, only to leave shortly after getting hired. I also have been dealing with a roommate, who as decided that I'm a great target for all of her unhappiness. And of course, trying hard not to get mad back, which didn't always work.

So after months of stress, my sister finally found out that the job she REALLY wants might be headed to Utah, anyway, and she could be in line for it, since she's already here. Which means I get to stay here also, which makes me happy, but also sad for her because I know she's ready to head back East. So I've been praying that we both can figure out why we're still in Utah, what is it that we need to do so can say that we've "Successfully, completed our mission while in Utah."

My last name

I've come to the conclusion that maybe one of Satan's ways of not making family history easy is by convincing us to be casual in our introductions of ourselves. Instead of stating our full names, we may simply state our first name. We then don't get the last name of the person we're talking too, which reduces the chance of finding those people around us who might have similar name to those of our ancestors. Which means we don't find new lines that can connect our family tree to other family trees. So our tree doesn't grow it just stay an singular and stands all alone in the forest, instead of on the hillside surrounded by other trees. The point of family history is to connect families with each other until the whole earth is linked in one huge family tree, and Satan doesn't want that to happen. He doesn't want us to be families, especially eternal families. I love looking around me for those who might be related to me, granted right now I don't expect to find anyone, but if I don't us my full name I won't. I do believe that we all are related, so we have to be will to look for those among our friends and co-worker who have the same last name as our family. It also mean that you have to spend time studying your family tree, you should know the last names of the main lines, but also where they came from. That will be extremely helpful in knowing if the families were settled in the same states. Don't be afraid to approach people you don't know but think you might be related too, you might miss the chance and never be able to take it again. Both of my parents have asked strangers about their family history, since their names matched ours family names, and neither one of them is that interested in family history. They did it because they weren't sure they would ever have the chance to again, now nothing came of it but they still asked.

D&D dreams

Just when I think...maybe something has changed so that I no longer dreaming my d&d dreams, another one happens. Most of the time I'm okay with them...well as okay as you can be when you are constantly dreaming of death and destruction, but every now and again one just hurts, or REALLY scares me. Last nights just hurts...the main character other than me, was this adorable little boy, my biological son. Having children in my d&d dreams is normal, but most times I know their not mine or are cousins, nieces or nephews. Seldon do I ever really know that it was MINE, their just children that I there to help, protect or to keep safe, but he was mine. I was trying so hard to get him to safety, somewhere away from me, to protect him...that is what I do...always. But he would go, he was young, very young, but he knew that if he caused a scene I would take him back from the person I was trying to give him to so he would be safe.  I woke up just hurting because even though I didn't know why it was better for him without me I know I was trying to do the right thing for him. Then after getting up and pray about it...I realized that others are alway getting hurt in my dream how can I expect to always come out of them without endangering myself, and my children. Even if I try to protect them, there is no promise that they will be safer without me, or if I keep them with me that they'll actually be safe. I'm not in control, only running from those that would harm me. But even then God is the one would can protect me, my family, and all the other children who are always in the dreams with me. He is the only who can keep us safe in D&D.
Today at church some read Doctrine and Covenants 122:6-7: If thou art accused with all manner of false accusations; if thine enemies fall upon thee; if they tear thee from the society of thy father and mother and brethren and sisters; and if with a drawn sword thine enemies tear thee from thy bosom wife and of thine offspring and thine elder son, although but six years of age, shall cling to thine garments, and shall say, My father, my father what can't you stay with us? and if then he shall be thrust from thee, by the sword, and thou be dragged to prison, and thine enemies shall prowl around thee like wolves for the blood of the lamb; And if thou shouldst be cast into a pit, or in the hands of murderers, and a sentenced of death by passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if the fierce winds become thy enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all the very jaws of hell gape open wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things will give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.
With my dreams I can believe all of the first part...but I MUST remember the last part: Know thou, my daughter, that all these things will give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. I needed to hear that today, especially after that dream.

Running away, again???

Why do I feel that it's what I'm really doing instead of helping out my sister? It's not like I have any reason to believe what I want would actually happen. In fact, it probably wouldn't but in my head I've built it up into something when in fact it's nothing. Yet, instead of facing what I want I'm taking the chance to leave, because I have no reason to refuse. It's not like I have a job to stay for and don't have the confidence to actually look for one, I don't have a place to stay where I would look for a job. So I'll move to a place where there is a possibility for jobs, and a place to stay. A place a few weeks ago, I felt so right. So am I running away...or running toward something. That is really what I want, it's what I wanted when I was there to not have to come home. But to find a job, go to school...and to have a reason to stay, just ONE reason to belong SOMEWHERE, instead of just existing or going through the motions of something like life. I've been looking for a way and reason to return. Praying for a way to help my sister, not sure how, but hoping I can. Now I just have to make it happen ALL of it job, schools, helping her, going to the temple, doing genealogy work and maybe even being a temple worker...just because I'm closer and don't have to make such a long drive to do it. Maybe this will help me, and finish healing me so next time I'll actually face the music instead of running away or actually live in reality instead of inside my head.

Where I've been hiding...

I know it's been awhile since I posted anything new, so almost a month ago I was house sitting for people from church while they were away for a week. Since they have two dogs, and a cat, they didn't want me hanging out in their house ALL day long. I realized that they were only a couple of miles away from the local museum which has a LOT of genealogy records...so I went there instead. What I found where 4 to 5 books that related to my family, so I've spent the last few weeks on random days and times updating my PAF files. I hope when I finish, I'll finally feel like I have accomplished all that I need to do from the farm for my families' genealogy so I can finally move on. Granted I have already learned that 3 and probably 4 of the books are already on familysearch, but I'm not sure if they will have the living people there, so I just look for those. Most of the information I already had it is mainly just filling death dates, and children. So I hope to be done a lot faster, than I really probably will be, because now I have to convince myself to go and spend the time there from the farm. But I've had a lot of fun doing it.

Talking with Grandma

What I learned from talking to Grandma RUNKLE: Edith BURNS, was married to a guy from and in New York City...so how did someone from Grass Creek, Indiana met a guy from NEW YORK CITY!!! Edith was the postmistress so she sent her name and address in one of the bags going out. And John BRIGGS found the address and they started corresponding, and eventually decided to get married in New York City. So her brother Robert and his wife Mildred (Grandma Runkle's parents) Gertrude and her husband Claude, Helen, and maybe their mother, Carrie (DOWNS) Burns. As William Thomas, put it...that had to be a long trip. I thought it sounded a lot like nowadays: online dating.

Why dead people...

Because they can't hurt you the way living people can. Granted to be friends you have to talk to each other, and since I stopped communicating with everyone...then it shouldn't hurt. Stupid me, thinking I could stop the having people hurting me. Or me letting them hurt me, it's a vicious circle. I'm ready to stop living in the hell I call the past, and make new friends. I know, I'll only be opening myself to NEW pain, but at least it won't be this again with the same person. Maybe I'll be living in a place where I can't dwell, on it!!! Or it won't register to me that I'm being hurt. LOL. I know I chose to let them hurt them...anyway, today I saw something that made me happy. One of my old young women, was showing her support to another despite how different they were back then, and how different they still are. :) Sorry I just had to express that.
Nothing like going to Relief Society to hear that I was looking at the rocks, but not finding the flecks of gold. I need to try to focus on the good things instead of the hurt. Which still means I need to leave here to get away from all of the negative environment.

9 Generation Fan Chart

At Christmas my sister mention that I should make a fan chart for our genealogy but I couldn't find it. Well this week I did, so I printed it out to see where we're missing information. Much to my surprise, we reach the sixth generation in all lines, and are only missing two couples out of the seventh generation. So now I know where to focus my searches, and I've know that a few lines don't go very far but wasn't sure where and how many. Then my father was talking to my great-aunt Janece Herrold and he mention I had printed out this 9 generation chart and that the BURNS side of our family was really short...then she mentioned that years ago she had gotten some of the genealogy from Edith BRIGGS who is on my mom side of the family, and I need all the help I can get on that side. Which is one of the lines I want to start researching it is one of my very short lines!!! I've been amazed recently by those in the church around who have been wanting to start their own research only to have other step up with the information they've been needing, looking for, or not even looking for but get it to start on a different line. Now it's happening to one of the lines, I wasn't sure how or where to start researching, but having the desire to do so regardless. I think that is one of the keys having the desire, regardless of knowing how to start the research. If you have the desire, and start trying to make progress I believe and have seen a lot lately that Heaven Father will help you.

Genealogy

Today a member of my church, who a few weeks ago I gave her a name I found in my genealogy because it was very close to her husband's surname, came over so I could help her use new.familysearch.org. It was a rough start but once we started entering information it was fun to see what we could find and do. I help her take names off a pedigree chart and put them on new.familysearch, then we looked at familysearch.org because she realized that you can't search for information at new.familysearch. I never had much luck with familysearch but...today we typed in a name and right away we found a census record with his name on it. We found his children and could guess on about birth years so we added those to her family on new.familysearch. Then she mention that she had just gotten information from someone in the family, and she couldn't understand it. I looked at it and realized that the family we just added to new.familysearch were on the top of that sheet of paper, with birth date, and location. So we edited that information, and add some children who weren't born at the time of the 1910 census. Then I looked at the bottom of the page realize that the mother of the family add the top of the page, had her parents and siblings at the bottom of the page, so we added them. She was then excited to find out that by adding that family she came across temple work that was finally done. That family went back a few generations and most of their work was done. By the time we were done, I was able to explain most of what was in the packet of information, that she had gotten from her husband's family. It was an interesting to look at someone else's genealogy, and figure out how it was all connected. I've never had to look at someone else genealogy and see how it fit together. I know that she was impressed how I could take a few notations on the sides of the paper and figure out what they meant. So it was a good day, I'm glad I could share some of my knowledge of genealogy with someone else. And she can't wait to try this on her own, later this week. I also was able to get more of my own genealogy done, after she left so I only have 300 and some odd people to search before I finish the first search that I'm doing using FamilyInsight. So I'm excited about that also.

What I've been up to...Genealogy

This summer I was looking at my genealogy and realized that I/we could get a lot of my family temple work done if we focus on it. So I was looking at ways to see if there was work that we missed, and I found that there was a program called FamilyInsight. And with it I could search all of my family files names in new.familysearch, and find work that we missed or didn't know was done. Then I could combine those names and get it combine on my PAF file and new.familysearch at the same time. Which is a huge time saver, I also find out that we have 7000 names in our PAF file which I never knew before. I also like that FamilyInsight shows those that were living due to birth dates.  I wish I could find away to see how much work is done, how many are living, how many are in the 55 years that we can't do work for, and then how many names we actually have left to work on. I'm excited by the work I've been able to get done, over this last part of the year. I figure in the next few months I'll have all the names combine, and really know how much work there is really left to do. Then we'll reprint the family file sheets once the temple is work is done.

Empty space

So my parents are actually having people look at the other house, which is great. The one problem I see is that that house is still full!!! Then I realize that in the hope of getting my grandmother's stuff out of the house and make that room a functioning part of the house I've created an empty space. It's not big by any means, but it is a space, will the carpet get laid, probably not...which again was part of the goal I was working toward. It also means that the room won't be ready by Christmas and the family will once again have only one room to gather in with two small children, the house still won't be baby proof...and I already want an excuse to boycott Christmas. My dad is still fighting the fact that we're trying to organize the house...and I think just the knowledge that what I did was basically pointless has made me feel defeated. I've been told that without the space I created we wouldn't have anywhere to go with the other stuff...but I doesn't help much. I'm not a person who cries much...but I have to admit that this hurts enough that I did cry. I already realized that yes dad does love the progress to a point but without his help...I'm stuck. And with him bitching about it, it tells me that he isn't ready to move forward. Mom isn't going to change her work habits because one room is clean. She isn't ready to move forward either, and realize that she can have a life outside of work...one which includes her husband, and children, not just her mom. But getting her to leave work early one day a week to have dinner with her mom has been a huge accomplishment though. AND Me...I guess I really just don't watch everything move into the hole I created, it will hurt. I feel like I worked so hard and was actually motivated to do SOMETHING for days and weeks on end and now it just seem pointless. Granted I do feel that everything I did this summer is preparing me for the future...just what I'm not sure of. I know that I enjoyed piecing together our genealogy with the obits and newspaper articles, I've also come up with a way to help others start from the beginning with just obits. I hope I get to put that to use, just to see how and if it works, and I did like helping my family declutter. I just need someone who is actually WILLING and READY to help other out. Unlike here, I've also done more baking and some new cooking. And want to try more I just need more people to share with so I don't eat it ALL and the other home improvement work I've been doing around the house this year...just all makes me feel like I'm being prepared for something. I just wish I knew what it is and how I can get to that point so I can move on, because I'm ready. And I wish I could just market myself as someone who wants to work on genealogy and decluttering...but somehow I'm sure not/yet sure there is a market for what I want to do but how and where it would be.

Obits. and showing off what I did this weekend.

This just one of the families with obits., wedding announcements, and  newspaper article on different family members.

This is just the THOMAS family...it was fun to sort.

So over the last few weeks I've been sorting through the family obituaries, taking the data off them to check if PAF and new.familysearch is up to date, and that I have all the information I needed for each individual. So after doing that I had stacks of obituaries divided by main families example: THOMAS, ROUCH, JOHNSTON, HERSHBERGER,  then I put them in a clear plastic sheet with the family tree/family group sheet binder for the families. Then I still wasn't sure what to do with them we had a family group binder from years ago that just glued the information to the back of the individual's page, but in my case I didn't think that would work since I want to do a reprint in the next couple of years, since most of the temple work should be done by then and I want that information on those pages too. So I was talking to Doug, and he mention alphabetizing them, when I realized I could glue them to a completely separate page (colored to help it stand out.) Then place that right behind their family group sheet, that way I have them organized and yet if I reprint at anytime I don't lose that information.

Talking with Eli

I have to say this and in a place where I can't get in trouble from my sister for it...this is the second time I've been able to talk to my sister and get something important from it...not just listening to her talking about breast feeding, and other mommy things that I don't want to listen to for 2hrs plus. So I have to wonder if this goes back to my priesthood blessings and being told to talk to my family and to share with them my thoughts, feelings, and concerns. Granted even now it is mostly her talking, but with at least me, I do actually am starting to get to be able to share some myself...just not about breast feeding...today, maybe tomorrow though :) I'll share last weeks helpful hints. Since I've been talking to Doug from Iowa and seeing how hard it is to date with a 6 hrs drive separating us, she mentioned I should plan a trip to where he lives and do so serious job hunting in person for about 3 weeks, since I've used google to really look up what I'm already interested in for a new city...so that is in the works. I think I'll head out for a week while my parents are visiting grand babies... Then I called her about genealogy, I was looking for some female temple names which she didn't have. But she gave me an amazing idea about how to organize my temple names for Doug, so he would know which could be seal right after finishing their endowments and which of them couldn't. So what we did is take a temple envelop, you know the kind you get back after printing a new batch of names, and probably have a lot of...okay those. Look up each name individual and check if their father's work has been done if it has place it in a newly marked envelop "Ready to Seal." We then wrote that name on the outside of it with whatever work he has to have done before he can be sealed. That way when Doug, goes through the temple all he has to do, is look before he goes in if it can that person can be sealed afterwards or not. When he's done he can also put the name back in the correct envelop without my help...we hope. If the father's work isn't done that name gets place in an envelop marked, "Not Ready to Seal," or to something of that effect, and again the name and what work needs to be done is on the outside of the envelop. Now what my sister does so she makes sure to place the person back in the right family, since we've always tried to group them by family, is she takes the paper clipped family and paper them to the outside of the envelop while she's doing the work for that one person. So when she's finished for the day that name can be group back to their family very easily which I like also. You could as then keep it there when you leave so you could work on that one family until you've done all their work, instead of just grabbing a name at random. Tomorrow I'll share's today's helpful hint, but I want to think and talk it out with Doug first...sorry. Stay tuned until tomorrow.

Why I believe Wednesday Missionaries and Priesthood Power

. This event in my life holds a special place in my heart because it helped through a difficult time. I remember the day I was told my grandmother was in a hospital in Indy, my parents asked/told me I would need to pack so I could take care of my two younger cousins so my aunt could focus on my grandmother. I remember during the drive to my aunts just praying for the missionaries of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, to show up at some point so I could get a priesthood blessing to help me be calm, and have the ability to help with my cousins. I prayed that prayer everyday not sure how and when it would be answered but knowing it would be. The oldest cousins was in school, kindergarten, I believe and I was home with the youngest all day. It was hard, my aunt and uncle had just switched phone service and I couldn't call long distance to my family, I was getting daily updates from my father every night and him calling to make sure I was doing fine. My uncle was working, then going to work basketball games, and then heading to the hospital to check on his wife and mother-in-law, so the kids didn't see him or their mother for most of that time. All the had was ME??? I remember one night both of my aunts who were staying at the hospital came home to take the oldest to a basketball game for her. I had a question I wanted to ask my aunts but wasn't sure how they would react to it, so I went to bed. I couldn't sleep so I went back out and talked to them and asked if it would be okay with them for us to have someone give grandmother a priesthood blessing, they agreed and told me to never be afraid of asking or talking about something that is important to me with them. So, Elizabeth Thomas, called me back and I told her we had permission to have someone give grandmother a blessing. I don't know how it was arranged all I know is that it was. That weekend as all of the family gathered, including me and the two that I was watching at the hospital. The two priesthood holder from Carmel, IN came and gave the blessing. I remember them saying how impressed they were that the whole family was there. It was a blessing that gave me comfort, and peace, but before I could ask them for one of my own they were gone. So I continued to pray and even know I am so amazed by what happened. See I was home alone most of the time, and missionaries can't come into a house with a single women or maybe even a women alone (not really sure which it is but I know definitely single woman.) So in the middle of a really cold January I was trying to figure out how was I going to get this blessing. I figured the front porch or the garage with the door up might be the best I could do, or I knew one of the neighbors was a stay-at-home mom, if that would work those were my choices. But Heavenly Father had a different plan and a better plan: on Martin Luther King day, my uncle stayed home from work, my aunt came home from the hospital, and bright and early two missionaries showed up at the door. My uncle invited them in partly because I was standing in the doorway with them, because I needed to talk to them, and because he felt they had the chance to come out of the cold themselves for a bit. They were able to give me the priesthood blessing I was needing at the time to help me comfort and be calm for my younger cousins. I'm not sure I did all that the blessing asked of me, but I know that Heavenly Father sent them to me the only day I could have gotten the chance to talk to them, and get that blessing. That is why I KNOW and BELIEVE missionaries are inspired by the Holy Ghost to go where they are needed, and one of the reason I believe in the priesthood power.

Music

This has been an interesting week concerning music, it started when I drove back from Nauvoo the song the House that Built Me, came on and one line jumped out at me. Then I was lying in bed trying to go back to sleep later than night and the words from I Am a Child of God, came into my mind. I've always loved the second verse and this time it really hit home...Come little child... to me it was like an invitation for children to become a part of my life either through me giving birth to them or by any other way. Which was an interesting thought considering my own fears for my natural children, but I found it very comforting. Then Keith Urban's song Without you, talks about the miles in between them and how somehow they ended up together? or finding each other. I thought that was very fitting to what is happening at the moment. Then a line from You and Tequila (wow I actually spelled that right on my first try.) Make Me Crazy, the line One is one to many but One is never enough, reminded me of a conversation with my brother about kissing and how careful we'll have to be in the future. I also guess the songs really started at the dance in Nauvoo, when I heard Just a Kiss Goodnight, which I heard for the first time one the way to talk to my branch president during the repentance process. I had been thinking on the way up how was I going to prevent this in the future, and that song came on so I turned it up and through the static I got the jest of the song. Only to have the president ask me the same question, and I of course laughed because that had been my thoughts on the drive and because I had the answer. Luckily he knows me and how I react to music so he knew that it really was my answer to my prayer and thoughts. So to hear it as I was dancing with Doug was fun because it reminded me of the answer to my prayer and the promise I had made to the president. I think that were all the songs that talked back to me this week.

Nauvoo part 2

Since Celeste asked for it I'll finish giving my recap of the weekend...So I last left you with me thinking (I know that comes as a shock to everyone, me thinking) at the Nauvoo Temple. After I finished the work I was doing I hurried to out to met the two guys I came with, Doug and his friend James, hoping I hadn't kept them waiting to long. Only to find out I was the first one done YES, they weren't waiting on me, then came the fun part of trying to round up my sons, that where to be baptized. Only they didn't have them and I didn't have the sheet or even the knowledge of a their names or know if they even got done. So I was given the names that the guys had done endowments on the temple workers hoping those where the names I was looking for, but they weren't. So we hurried up to go back to Camp Nauvoo, and get my sheet of paper with my sons names on it, the guys changed quickly hoping to make it back to the temple then go and see the Joseph Smith movie, no such luck. By the time the guys got change we had a few minutes to either head straight to the movie and hope we didn't forget the names or skip the movie an go to the temple. We went to the temple which was a good thing, I got my names and as I walked out there was a girl that I had seen at the conference waiting for a ride. Okay, I didn't realize she knew Doug or James, so I asked if she wanted a ride back to camp, she said no she'd wait so I got in the car. Doug was out and trying to help her to decided to go with us, at this moment maybe I should add that since she knew them and wouldn't get in the car still maybe I should of taken that as a hint to get out of the car. LOL! After Doug seriously trying to get her in the car, he finally offered her popcorn, just to get her in the car and back to camp so us girls could change before going site seeing. At the offer of popcorn, I started laughing...I mean we're taught not to get in a car with someone offering candy but popcorn is safe I guess, and Doug realized the moment he said it how wrong it sounded and I would have catch it and he would be in trouble for saying and would hear about it later, and boy did he. Lol. So we go back to camp I change faster than the other girls gets out of the car and walking towards Doug, needless to say he was impressed. We go to the visitor center to find the people the girl was suppose to get a ride from...no such luck. But I saw an amazing pic. of the Nauvoo Temple by the upstairs offices and one of the missionaries reluctantly took me up there for a closer look, only to that what I thought looked like water from the main floor really was WATER, so we asked questions about where the water came from, and it also has lightening in the background, you couldn't tell that from the main floor. So I'm happy we got a closer look at it. We walked out by the Women's Monuments, waiting for the movie to end and find the girl who rode there with us. Found her, she didn't find her ride to the temple so we went back to camp and tied fleece blankets which was interesting and eat. Then head out to kill time before the dance, we went down Parley Street to the Mississippi. What I loved about that was the marker of all how died on the trail, on the other side it says "To Those Who are Lost From Our Records, but REMEMBERED Unto the Savior." That really hit me...we can trace our genealogy back to who came over to American but can't seemed to go beyond that point. I feel that they are lost to us, when I went to the Chicago Temple last time I was told that "my sons," would help, which is why I call them that. I was also told I might be surprised where I would get the help to find them. So I realized before Nauvoo, that they are lost to me but God knows where they are, how to find them, who will help, and even who will find them. I don't care if I find them, I just want the family to be able to find them so we can start their work and move forward...if going back in the past is moving forward. Then last night as I was reading my scriptures I came in Luke 15:8 that says: 8 ¶Either what woman having ten pieces of silver, if she lose one piece, doth not light a candle, and sweep the house, and seek diligently till she find it? 
Okay, not sure that is quite the scripture I was reading, but it has the main point if I seek my family diligently I will find them or those that can help will come into my life. It just tied into what I've been working on and how I feel about getting beyond where I'm at. Okay so back to Nauvoo...we went to the dance and the chaperon that I had talked to the night before was there (he wasn't suppose to be.) He made a comment about how he'd seen me all night with guys where were they I pointed behind me. I said they had my back, we danced and I go back to sit down. Then later I realized that I was not being involved just sitting back and watching so I texted him and told him I would stop hiding and start dancing. So I dance a portion of the dance before the lights and jumping got to my head. We played a game of croquet, and he went back to dancing...the night end with me getting a head massage from him which helped and me laughing about how it was to bad he couldn't go home with me, (should of offered popcorn,) because I would really need a head massage after that drive. Sunday, I drove Doug to choir practice so I could go back later and get the girls he offered rides too and he could still do what he wanted to do since he had gone out of his way for ever one else. At the testimony meeting, one of the guys from Mexico bore his testimony about how Christ teaches us to love everyone, later I applied that to one of the lesson about DENIM SKIRTS in the chapel and we should spend our times obsessing over the stupid little things that people do, but instead let go of the DENIM SKIRT MOMENTS and focus on LOVING the person instead. It was a long way drive home trying to figuring a Denim Skirt moment from the weekend, I have to say it would be hard for me to love that person. Anyway, I also heard a testimony about how coming home from a mission is hard on the R.M. because he doesn't KNOW his family any longer since it been 2 years of changes for him and his family. NOT what I wanted to hear, it almost had me crying, not with baby boy just submitting his paper this last week. It's hard enough to think of two years without him, but for him to not know us anymore...not cool. Pretty much that was the end of the trip to Nauvoo, a sack lunch with Doug and I talking before we both had to drive home, finalizing some arrangement's about him coming to the boat in Oct. and that was it. 
Again I hope you enjoy my thoughts, comments, and commentary on my trip to Nauvoo. Thanks for sticking with it and making it to the end. 

Why I believe Wednesday: Temples, and Eternal Families...

Before I start I guess I should explain that I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, you may of heard us called the LDS church or just the Mormon. That is who, what I am and what I believe (start nasty comments about me now.LOL) Last week I talked about the broken road I have taken, and how I started on a healing road recently. This weekend I had the chance to the Nauvoo Temple, in Nauvoo IL, usually when I'm in the temple I feel rushed by my own time schedule especially if I've made the drive to Chicago on my own and have to make it back yet. This time, yes I made the 6 hrs drive by myself but I wasn't worried about the drive back since I had one more day in Nauvoo before coming home. So I really got to enjoy the time in a peaceful, quite, and calming building. I had time to think and ponder about what I was actually doing in the temple that day. What we do in the temple is we bind our families in an eternal family. And for a girl that comes from an broken uneternal family this is important to me, I want to have an eternal family. I want my family to be fixed eternal family, meaning I want ALL of my family to be with me in heaven not just a few scattered people here and there. So by doing ancestors work we are building up our family the only way we can at the moment by connecting the past, granted there will be a gap in our work and we accept that. So Saturday in the temple I was able to see how my Broken Road was a road that at each turn took me to the temple. When I was on my internship I was able to go to the Orlando Temple on my day off twice a month, and start building my testimony of temples and the work we do there. I also realized that even if I could go into the temple because it was closed, I wanted to be where I could look at it and feel that peace. When I came home I didn't take the time to go as much, but come May I had the chance to go to Utah...and boy did I go to the temples then. I went to as many different temples as I thought I could convince my sister to go to and had fun. Then I came back and dated a guy who made it a point to go each month...that lasted a short time but the work that I was able to get done during that time helped me more than I had thought. I then started making that drive by myself, and got more work done and families sealed for time and all eternity, which is the whole point of temples. So for the first time I was able to see the best thing that came out of my last two years, it wasn't about the two guys I dated, it was how they were able to help get my work to where it is now. My journey has been one of building my testimony of temples and eternal families. That is why I believe.

Nauvoo part 1

So on Thursday night I was talking to Doug, and it came up that the YSA conference he was going to was in Nauvoo that weekend. I meant to ask him about the conference on Wednesday when we talked, but instead we talked about job hunting. Which I felt was very important to me at the time, and so I forgot to ask him about it before it was bedtime. So here it is Thursday night, and he was like oh, you would have come if you'd know it was going to be in Nauvoo? Which then very quickly became could you come now that you know. Because my dad had purchased 40 pounds of green beans that would need to be canned, I wasn't sure I'd be able to go. So when my mother got up I asked her. I told her it was stake conference at Michigan City, and I didn't want to run into my ex-boyfriend, I didn't have to teach, didn't want to drive alone AGAIN to the Chicago Temple for a poorly attended tri-stake temple trip, and I hadn't really planned on going to the boat anyway, so all of those things worked in my favor, and of course, Dad's approval and willingness to can green beans without me, if I took the time to wash up jars before leaving. So I tried to go back to bed for a little while since I hadn't rest well all night due to the uncertainty of going, or not going, and the want to go and the possibility of seeing Doug again for the first time in 2 months of communication.  I had to then of course wake up, shower, pack, eat, and exercise so I could be on the road about noon. When I was getting ready to leave...I started to doubt since I didn't have housing or the money for a hotel right at that moment I got a text saying I could sleep in a tent with other girls that Doug knew. I was amazing to realize that right as doubt started to come in God sent the answer I need to go ahead and go to Nauvoo. It was of course a LONG drive, and a one point I was laughing at how I didn't want to drive to the Chicago Temple but was willing to drive a much longer distance to go to Nauvoo knowing I would have time with Doug. I made it there safely and went to the Temple first, so I could have a few family names printed before the sessions on Saturday. I then found my way to where I was to go, and met up with one of the girls I was rooming with. She took me under wing completely and helped me get registered, FOOD, and a ride to the dance that night so I wouldn't have to drive any further. That night was kind of a blur because of Emily just helping get settled and I was exhausted from my drive. At the dance, of course, I was me found a chair, sat down, and watched or at least until this chaperon made me move by him, then the fun really began. He would introduce me to different unsuspecting young men and try to get them to talk, or dance with me. It truly was entertaining, or he would point out young men for me to avoid, or that were safe in is mind. At no point did he ever ask my age, so the could actually introduce me to guy closer to my age than 19. So after laughing a lot with him, and the poor guys he brought over the dance FINALLY ended.
With Saturday morning, came the knowledge that I would met Doug. So I went to the Nauvoo stake center, and organized my family temple names one last time, before handing them over to Doug to finish, and hopeful make it easier for him to know what work is able to do for each individual. Then I waited, and watched for him to show up. Then he did, and then I could focus on the speaker who was the Temple President, he had some really funny stories and thing I hadn't thought about or didn't know. He talked about how Joseph Smith had promised his son Joseph III that he would be the prophet. But because he wasn't faithful to the promise and blessings given him. That promise went to Hyrum's son Joseph Fielding Smith, then to his Grandson Joseph F. Smith, and that Richard M. Ballard (think that is the right apostle,) is also of Hyrum's family.  We then went to 3 different lessons and then to the temple. At the temple I was given a lot of time to think and ponder, but one of the two things that really caught my attention was that I knew I was going to be handing over my son's (male family names) to Doug on Oct. 7th which was the "next time," I was planning to really see him. So I knew I would have to get them ready and organized, but Sunday when I came home from the boat I realized I wanted to do that on Monday, so I did. Later in the week I talked to Elizabeth and found a way to help him know how much work each son needed done at the moment. Had I not do it Monday, I wouldn't of been ready to hand those names over this weekend. Does the three weeks really matter, I don't know I know Doug isn't "planning" on going to the temple before the 7th, so I would say not really, but that is now and how know's what the next few weeks will bring. All I know is Heavenly Father helped me be prepare even though I wasn't aware I was going to need to be that quickly, and I'm so grateful that I was.
If you made it this far in my thoughts and happening of this weekend you are a true friend or really bored, so I'll give you a break for now and come back tomorrow with part two.